All right, time for the grand finale. This game opens with Commander Commander Shepard discharged from the Alliance military and awaiting trial for blowing up a star system. Fortunately for him, admirals Hacket and Anderson have his back so six months have passed without the trial starting. Anyway, Shepard is also a member of the "Reaper" committee due to being one of the only people in the galaxy that actually knows what the hell "Reapers" are. So the committee want to speak with Shepard because they think fucking judgement day has arrived. James Vega, the marine who has been guarding Shepard for the last six months, takes Shepard to the committee. On the way they pass by Kaiden, who has both been promoted and has removed the stick from his ass. The committee tells Shepard that they think the "Reapers" have attacked and they want his opinion on how to fight them. Unfortunately for them the "Reapers" have good sense of dramatic timing, and choose this moment to attack earth and blow up the committee quarters. Only Shepard and Anderson seem to survive so Anderson calls Kaiden and James and tells them to get to the Normandy. Shepard and Anderson fight their way through "Reaper" forces and make it to the Normandy where Anderson reinstates Shepard and tells him to go to the Citadel and get help. Anderson stays on Earth to lead the defence against the "Reapers." Right before they leave Earth, Shepard has to watch a little boy blow up. So already the game starts with a laugh riot. Before they get that far from Earth, Hacket calls Shepard to tell him that Liara is on Mars looking for some Prothean data that can stop the "Reapers" so Shepard needs to get his ass over there right quick. When he gets there, Shepard finds some Cerberus soldiers are attacking the base and they attack him. After ending those assholes and getting into the Mars base, Shepard meets up with Liara and they team up to find the data, that apparently is about some "Reaper"killing weapon called "The Crucible." The Illusive Man beats them to it with this fembot and a chase ensues. The bot almost gets away but James decides that seatbelts are for pussies, and crashes his transport ship into the robots transport ship. The robot survives and almost kills Kaiden but Shepard puts it down. With Kaiden seriously injured and Earth under attack, Shepard takes the fembot and makes a beeline to the Citadel. Once there Kaiden gets sent to the hospital where he lies comatose until Shepard completes one story mission. Shepard loves futile efforts so he tries to get the council to send help to earth, but they all decide to say "fuck that noise" and turtle up. The Turian counselor however, realises that Shepard is a badass and gives him an option. Shepard can get the Turian, Krogan, and Salarian leaders togeather for an alliance meeting. Having no other option Shepard goes to the Turian homeworld of Palaven, which is already being sieged by the "Reapers." Landing on Palaven's moon, Shepard learns that the current Primarch is dead but his successor is on the moon somewhere. Garrus shows up and decides to come with Shepard because Garrus is a bro. Shepard finds Victus and tells him that he needs to lead his people and the best way to do that is to come with Shepard and form an alliance with the Krogans and Salarians. After picking up Victus, EDI decides that she wants to have a body and she hacks the robot that almost killed Kaiden. Taking a side trip to Eden Prime to pick up a Prothean artifact. Cerberus is there fucking shit up. After fighting through them, Shepard learns that the artifact is actually a Prothean that has been in cryostasis for the last 50,000 years. His name is Javik and he is pissed. Shepard askes him if he wants to be a bro, and Javik is all for it despite the fact that he calls everyone "primitives." Next Shepard goes back to the Citadel to check on Kaiden, he's fine. After that Wrex shows up and promises that if Shepard can cure the Genophage, the Krogan will work with the Turians and Salarians to help save the galaxy. The Salarian Dalarrass, their leader, is having none of that shit and tells Shepard that the krogan aren't worth the risk. Wrex is a bro so Shepard tells the Dalatrass to cram it. Wrex tells shepard that someone on the Salarian homeworld pf Sur'kesh has been feeding him information about a cure so that is the next stop. After some shenanigans with a "Krogan Airdrop" Shepard finds out that Mordin is Wrex's inside source and he has a cure. The cure is inside the body of Eve, a Krogan female who survived Mordin's old apprentice and his experiments in trying to cure the Genophage. Cerberus shows up and starts wrecking shop but Shepard puts a stop to that shit. Next Victus and Wrex both have an issue that need to be handled first: Victus needs Shepard to help his son disarm a bomb on the Krogan homeworld of Tuchunka, Wrex needs Shepard to go check on Grunt. Shepard ends up destroying the bomb, but Victus' son dies in the attempt. Next he goes to check on Grunt who is fighting the Rachni. When Shepard finds the Rachni queen however, it turns out that she has been forced to create troops for the "Reapers" and after he releases her she decides to help build the Crucible. Grunt decides to go down in a blaze of glory but he is so badass that it doesn't stick and he ends up in the hospital. Back to the Citadel. Miranda shows up and she needs help. Shepard gives her some Specter access and sends her on her merry way. He also runs into Kasumi who helps him save the Hanhar homeworld by blowing up and faking her death. She then goes to help out with the Crucible. One last stop back with Kaiden. Apparently he is going to be the second human Spectre, so good for him. He askes Shepard if they are still friends and as we know Shepard is a bro, so he says yes. Back to Tuchunka. Mordin is ready to cure the Genophage and both Eve and Wrex are alive so the Krogan are in good hands. The Dalatrass is a huge bitch and tells Shepard that if he cures the Genophage, she will pull all Salarian support from the alliance. She also tells him that the manner of spreading the cure was sabotaged years ago so if he keeps it a secret, the Krogan will think they are cured but they aren't. Not wanting to lie to a bro, Shepard tells Wrex and Mordin about the sabotage and the Dalatrass' deal. Mordin claims he can work around it and Wrex tells Shepard that his name will go down in Krogan history as meaning "Hero." Some "Reapers" show up and try to stop Mordin but Wrex has the brilliant idea to summon Kalross, the biggest Thresher Maw (think giant space worm with armor plating and acid spit) to kill the "Reaper." That just happens to be crazy enough to work and Kalross eats the "Reaper" allowing Mordin to release the cure. Unfortunately, the sabotage is much worse than anticipated and to make sure the cure works, Mordin gives his life. The Krogan Genophage ends but Shepard looses a bro. The Dalatrass calls Shepard just to tell him he is an asshole but most of the Salarian military decides that survival is worth more than some 1000 year old vandetta, so they join with the Krogan and Turian alliance. After all this you would think that Shepard deserves some down time, right? Wrong. After making a side trip to Grissom Academy to save some students from cerberus, David Archer and Jack are there as well, Shepard goes back to the Citadel. Once there he learns that Cerberus is attacking the place, specifically to take out the council. He manages to save the Salarian councillor from Kai Leng, an ex-Alliance now Cerberus douche bag with the power to make everyone arround him suddenly forget how to be badass. Unfortunately, Thane gets stabbed in the stomach in the process of saving the councillor. Leng runs off with Shepard in pursuit. Eventually Shepard catches up with the rest of the council who is being protected by Kaiden, now a Spectre. The Salarian councillor told Shepard that Udina is a traitor. Shepard tells Kaiden this and Udina pulls a gun out of his ass. Instead of letting Udina make demands, Shepard shoots him and kills him. Cerberus decides to cut their losses and leave the Citadel. The council saved, Shepard goes to the hospital to check on Thane. He is on his death bed because his illness coupled with the stab wound is just too much to bear and he dies with his son Kolyat and Shepard reading scripture. Leaving the Citadel, Shepard runs into Kaiden who wants to join Shepard's crew. Shepard is, as always, a bro and lets him join. Immediately going back to the Citadel, Shepard has some chats with his team mates. EDI wants to be Joker's robo-girlfriend, Shepard gives her some advise while looking uncomfortable. Next Kaiden and Liara try to get into Shepard's pants but he is too busy trying to save the galaxy to give them the time of day. Shepard then gets an e-mail from from the Quarians. They are going to try to take their homeworld of Rannoch from the Geth, and if Shepard helps them out then they will help with the Crucible. After talking with Legion in the last game, Shepard believes that war between the Quarians and the Geth would be a poor decision. Meeting up with Tali, who has become an admiral, Shepard helps destroy a Geth dreadnought that is brodcasting some "Reaper" code that is causing the Geth to be better fighters. On the dreadnought with Tali, Shepard voices his concerns about the war and Tali agrees with him. Then they find Legion being used to brodcast the code. Legion claims that he is being used against its will and will try to help stop the war if Shepard gets him out. Shepard is still a bro so he lets it out. The code disabled, the Quarians open fire in the ship, but Shepard and Tali are still inside. They manage to get out before the ship explodes and Shepard is pissed. He punches the admiral responsible for the attack and tells another one to screw off when she wants to experiment on Legion. Next Shepard mounts a rescue mission to save the only other admiral from death. After saving him and helping Legion rewrite some Geth, Shepard starts the assault on the main "Reaper" base. After using a hand-held targeting system to have the Normandy blow up a thing, a "Reaper shows up and tries to kill Shepard. Not having the patience to deal with that bullshit, Shepard has EDI make the Quarian's weapons system all link up with his targeting system. Shepard then dodges a shitload of laser attacks and blows up that "Reaper." Before it dies, the "Reaper" tells Shepard that Harbinger has spoken of him and considers Shepard to be the biggest threat the "Reapers" have ever seen. Then the Quarians decide to try to wipe out the Geth while they are momentarily out of commission. Legion decides to use the "Reaper" code to give the Geth true sentience in an attempt to save all the Geth. Not wanting to have to witness a genocide today, Shepard yells at the Quarians. He tells them that if they can believe for just one minute, the whole war could be over. Because the Geth want peace. They believe him but because a sacrifice is necessary to please the gods of plot, Legion dies to upgrade the Geth. You would think that after ending a 300 year old war in an afternoon, Shepard would deserve a break right? Fuck you, you're wrong! The Asari councillor pulls her head out of her own ass and gives shepard a call. She has some information about a Prothean artifact and wants to share. Shepard is told to go to the Asari homeworld of Thessia to find the data. On his way there he finds out that the "Reapers" are attacking Thessia, because nothing is ever easy. Shepard fights his way to the data, only to find out that the Asari are the most technologically advanced race because they like to keep secrets. It turns out that the Asari have had access to the artefact for thousands of years and didn't do dick with it. Before the artifact can tell Shepard anything important, Kai Leng shows up and acts like a superior asshole. What is supposed to be a hard bossfight ends up being a speed bump in game play. Unfortunately the cutscene after the fact gives the win to Kai Leng and he escapes with the data. Shepard leaves Thessia as the "Reapers" converge on the planet. The Asari councillor calls Shepard expecting good news but Shepard has failed. Everyone is sad but the game must go on. Shepard gets an e-mail from Miranda. She needs help because her dad is a dick and has kidnapped her sister. Heading to the supposedly safe Horizon colony, Shepard learns that the whole place is actually a front for a Cerberus research base. Cerberus has been turning colonists into "Reaper" zombie troops in an attempt to control them, and Miranda's father is the one responsible for the whole thing. After cleaning up another one of Cerberus' messes, Shepard finds Miranda who has been attacked by Kai Leng but managed to fend him off, thereby giving Kai Leng a total confirmed kill count of one terminally ill Drell for the whole game. Miranda's father has her sister at gunpoint but Shepard convinces him to let her go and Miranda kills his ass. She thanks Shepard and reveals that she put a tracker on Kai Leng so that Shepard can track him to the Illusive Man's base. Not wanting to start the endgame just yes because of all the unfinished dlc, Shepard returns to the Citadel. Once there he meets up with Aria, the Asari who used to rum Omega. She was kicked off of her asteroid by a Cerberus coup and wants Shepard to help her take it back. Being a bro Shepard agrees but only on the condition that Aria starts acting nicer to people. It turns out that Aria's plan is a suicide run because she doesn't give a shit about her people. After getting onto the asteroid, Shepard and Aria meet up with Nyreen, a Turian who used to be Aria's lover. She is leading the resistance against Cerberus and wants to help the people on Omega more than she wants Aria back in power. After some shenanigans involving Cerberus being dicks, Shepars trying to get Aria to be nicer, and Nyreen blowing herself up in asuicide attack against some Cerberus abominations, Shepard and Aria finaly attack and defeat the Cerberus leader. In a show of mercy, Aria spares his life so Shepard can interogate him. After that bullshit, Shepard finaly gets a break. Anderson tells Shepard that he can have his old apartment to chill in while the Normandy gets an upgrade. Joker tells Shepard to meet him at this sushi place but when he gets there, Shepard realises that Joker actually didn't send the message. An Alliance desk jockey named Brooks gets there and tells him that someone is trying to access his accounts. Then all helm breaks loose. Some dudes attack the sushi joint and Shepard falls through an aquarium to escape. More dudes attack but Tali and Wrex show up to help Shepard out. After they escape back to the apartment, Brooks tells them this guy who owns a casino that may know something. After the rest of Shepard's friends show up and argue who is the favorite, Shepard decides to take Wrex with him and Brooks to the casino. Because Wrex isn’t a party member in the regular game. After some bullshit they manage to break into the guy’s office only to find him already dead. Luckily Shepard is an engineer and knows stuff so they use the space version of *69 to call the last guy that called the dead guy. A familiar voice starts talking to them and he calls Shepard a punk ass. Tracing the call back to the Citadel archives, Shepard does something that he has never done before: he invites all of his friends with him to kick this guys ass. When Shepard gets there to meet the mysterious douche bag, he is surprised to learn that he is actually a clone of Shepard himself! Shepard ends up chasing his clone through the entire archives, all the while killing all of his dudes. Eventually Shepard get caught in a trap set up by the clone and it is revealed that Brooks was on the clone's side the whole time. Shepard, Wrex, and Tali end up locked in a vault with no means of escape. Instead of freaking out about it, Shepard and Wrex debate the clone saying “I should go.” Shepard swears he doesn’t sound like that but if he did, he would appreciate some feedback. After using Liara's VI to escape, Shepard finds out that the clone is trying to steal the Normandy. Shepard then fights his way on to the ship and through the last of the clone's dudes. Then he fights the clone and Brooks and kicks their asses. Towards the end of the fight, Shepard and the clone end up hanging off of the edge of the now open hanger of the Normandy. Shepard's friend help him up and Brooks doesn’t help the clone. Shepard, in an act of kindness, offers to save the clone, but the clone is a punk ass bitch and would rather die. So he lets go and ends up hitting a building at somewhere around 500 mph. Brooks gets arrested and Shepard gets to enjoy the rest of his shore leave. Which ends up consisting of hanging out with all of his still living friends once and throwing a party. Hungover but happy, the crew of the Normandy all set off to the endgame. Shepard calls Hacket an tells him to get some ships together to attack the Illusive Man’s base. At the base, Shepard learns some of the more screwed up shit Cerberus was up to and finds the Prothean data. Then he has a boss fight with Kai Leng that ends up with hi stabbing Kai Leng in the gut while saying “This is for Thane!” You know. Because Thane is the only one he managed kill. Anyway after the attack it turns out that the data that they were looking for just tells them that the missing piece of the Crucible, known as the Catalyst, was the Citadel the whole time! And that the “Reapers” have taken it to Earth while Shepard was busy. Shepard goes to Earth where he meets up with Anderson and they plan an attack that should get them onto the Citadel to activate the Catalyst. After Shepard fights through the best ground defense that the “Reapers” can field, Harbinger drops down to take shots at Shepard. With lasers that cut through giant space ships. And Shepard survives. He makes it onto the Citadel and meets up with Anderson, who also made it. They ae both seriously hurt but they manage to get to the control console. Then the Illusive Man shows up looking like he got his face scraped off by a cheese grater. He uses some new “Reaper” powers to make Shepard shoot Anderson in the gut. But using his Heroic Willpower, Shepard convinces The Illusive Man that he indoctrinated so he shoots himself in the head. Anderson bleeds out and Shepard passes out. He then wakes up and an AI that calls itself the Catalyst tells Shepard that he wins. Shepard gets to chose how he wins though. He can destroy the “Reapers,” but it would also all AI, such EDI and the Geth. He can control the “Reapers,” but doing so will digitize his entire being, so he dies. Or he can use Synthesis, which will force all organic and synthetic life to become something that is both at the same time, the “Reapers” would stop attacking, but Shepard would die as his body would dissolve in the process. After giving it some thought, Shepard opts for Control. Some flash backs happen and Shepard dissolves into the machine and a blue wave of energy erupts from the Catalyst. As this wave reaches "Reaper" forces, they all stop attacking and just leave Earth. The wave goes into the Relays and get sent throughout the whole galaxy. Then AI Shepard tells us about how he is gonna protect the whole galaxy and how dispite the fact that Shepard himself died, AI Shepard is a good guy too so don't worry about it. Some images show us that the whole story was told "PrincessBride" style from someone called the"Stargazer" to a child. the End. This was a long ass story, but not the longest I will be telling on this site. I really enjoy the entire Mass effect series and highly recommended it to anyone who can handle three. 60 hour games.
Requested by me, Commander Commander Shepard
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