Donald Trump is American businessman, tv personality, author, and the Republican nominee for the 2016 presidential election. He also has really tiny fingers. In an effort to keep this from getting political I will not be talking about his election campaign or that of his opponents. We are here for the fun kind of hate, not the mean kind. Trump got a bachelor's degree in economics from Wharton, the private business school of the University of Pennsylvania, which is a pretty good school when it comes to business crap. While in college he worked for his father's real estate and construction firm that he later renamed The Trump Organization. He went on to build a shitload of stuff with his name pasted all over it. This guy is an extreme narcissist. He craves attention to such an extreme degree that he puts his name on everything from buildings to airplanes to steaks, you get the picture. He also had this reality show called The Apprentice that ran for just over a decade. In the show he fired people. Okay there was more to it than that but all anyone can really remember is the line "You're Fired!" said in his slightly New Yorker-esqe way of speaking. He's married three times, has five kids, and 8 grandchildren. His sons look like the kind of people who go purging. Especially his second son, that guy looks like he wants to wear someone elses skin. Seriously, look up pictures of Eric Trump, he's creepy lookin'. Apparently Citizen Kane in one of his favorite movies, and if you don't see the humor in that statement you are a lost cause. Also he was roasted on Comedy Central. Allegedly he only agreed to do it on the condition that no jokes about his wealth being lower than reported be written. There is that narcissist thing again. He has also written 18 (holy shit!) books, mostly about himself, business, and himself doing business. I am gonna start sounding like a broken record with the narcissist thing. There are also 22 (what the hell!?) books written about this guy. I am an avid reader but I sure as shit am not going to read any of the 40 books about Trump. How in the world, even with some overlap, is there that much to say about a 70 year old man who has only done business related shit his whole life? I can't even wrap my head around that. He has applied for bankruptcy with several of his businesses, all of which were done to make more money apparently. He ended up losing money owning a casino, a business where it is improbable to not make money. He and his businesses have also been involved in 3500 legal cases in both state and federal courts. Wow. That is a lot of legal disputes. Until recently he also owned basically every large beauty pageant, so that's a thing. How could I forget the all the racism? This guy is racist as hell. His real estate business denied applicants based on their skin color, but tried to disguise it as income based bullshit instead. Funny how all of the people who were too poor to live in his properties also happened to not be white. And that was just his early years. As I said in the beginning of this review, he also has tiny fingers. Apparently for the last 25 years, Donald J. Trump has been sending signed photos of his hands to Greydon Carter, an editor for Vanity Fair. He has been doing this in response to Carter writing a short essay for Spy magazine in which he called Trump a "Short-fingered vulgarian." and in 2011 he told Page Six, "My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are other parts of my body." Again there is the narcissism. In closing, Donald Trump is an asshole, yet he has to be doing something right as he has been allegedly successful over his entire career. That could be false though. If you consider how guarded he is when people question how much he is actually worth, then he is just a man with narcissistic personality disorder and tiny fingers. Tiny, tiny fingers.
Requested by my mom, hi mom
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