My opinion on Kanye has been well documented, but just in case: Kanye West is a fucking muppet. Now that that is out of the way here is how this is going to go down: I am going to listen to I
One song at a time, write the review, then move onto the next. Lets get started.
Ultralight Beam - This wasnt terrible, I hardly even noticed Yeezus himself. Chance was pretty good though.
Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1 - something about a bleached asshole. That's all I got form this.
Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 2 - how is this a pt. 2? I couldn't hear any relation between this and pt 1. Also why split a 4:21 song into two pieces?
Famous - The song sounded like everything else Rihanna has done. The video that i watched for this gets a special mention though. It has Aziz Ansari and Eric Wareheim dancin like fools, eating food, and once dryhumping a car, so that was cool.
Feedback - Kanye doesn't want you to sleep. Also, who repeats themselves this much in one song? Not establishing a hook, actually saying the same line twice in a row.
Low Lights - not a song, just some woman preaching with a beat in the background. Next!
Highlights - The question of whether or not you are a freak never gets answered. This infuriates me, I need to know dammit!
Freestyle 4 - According to youtube comments, Tyler the Creator did it better. I am inclined to agree. Where are Freestyles 1-3? I don't care but the world might!
I Love Kanye - 45 seconds of Kanye, Kanye, Kanye. Doesn't sound loke a word anymore. Next!
Waves - The only things that stood out in this song were the disjointed rambling and the autotuned humming.
FML - The first bit sounded like someone told him to talk like Shatner but Kanye doesn't know who that is so they tried their best to explain it to him. Also "I'ma have the last laugh Indian, cause I'm from a tribe called Check-a-ho."
Real Friends - Kanye is a dick to his friends and family, but he is too important to care.
Wolves - I actually have heard this song before, though I can't remember where. Kanye compares himself to Joseph, the husband of Mary and stepfather of Jesus, and talks about blowjobs in the same breath. So that is a thing.
Frank's Track - I Dunno who Frank is or why he has a 39 second track on Kanye's album, but hey, I didn't hear him mention Kanye's name once. So A+.
Siiiiiiiiilver Surffffeeeeer Intermission - the name alone is cringe worthy. Also it was just shitty.
30 Hours - This one sounds like he just recorded some of what he considers freestyle rap. Then threw a beat behind it withou any editing. He stutters and has a lot of pregnant pauses.
No More Parties in LA - This song had Kendrick Lamar, who I understand is a pretty good rapper. And it shows. This one reminded me of some of the old school rap that wasn't terrible. This is terrible, but it reminds me of better days.
Facts (Charlie Heat Version) - After something almost passable we get absolute garbage, exactly what I expect from Kanye. This song is arguably the worst on the album.
Fade - According to google this is the last song on the album, and I hesitate to even call this a song. If this is the future of music then I will gladly never listen to anything new ever again.
In closing: This album has ruined my Google and YouTube search history forever. I can never search for anything there without those sites trying to bring me back to Kanye related topics. So thanks for that Aaron. Let no one say that I don't make sacrifices for my art. I would never buy this album and would never recomend it to anyone, but I listened to it so I can say whatever the hell I want about it. Who the hell is Pablo?! This whole album was garbage with only "Ultralight Beam" and "No More Parties in LA" as the only songs that are passable. Not good. Passable. In the same way that a kidney stone is passable.
Requested by Aaron, thanks for that you ass...
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